“ KAWWW “ I jumped out of my bed and silently tiptoed down the stairs and opened the
old wooden door regretting it as soon as I saw it,
it was there steering right at me the thing that could kill or help me……..
old wooden door regretting it as soon as I saw it,
it was there steering right at me the thing that could kill or help me……..
I walked slowly towards it the wind blowing my scent in the wind,
the leaves under my feet crunching as I took another step the rusty feeling of branches
brushing against my hair as I came closer and closer to it at first I was afraid then the feeling drifted
away, and all I thought about was touching its soft fur and giving it a great big hug,
at this moment I was one step away from it when I heard an alarm go off it spread its wings
and took flight I tried to grip the wing but it bent down and nipped the top of my finger I screamed in
horror and ran as fast as I could then it turned around and rapped its claws around my arm
engraving cuts into my armpit deep and sorrowful cuts suddenly everything went black I couldn’t open
my eyes and I drifted to sleep….
the leaves under my feet crunching as I took another step the rusty feeling of branches
brushing against my hair as I came closer and closer to it at first I was afraid then the feeling drifted
away, and all I thought about was touching its soft fur and giving it a great big hug,
at this moment I was one step away from it when I heard an alarm go off it spread its wings
and took flight I tried to grip the wing but it bent down and nipped the top of my finger I screamed in
horror and ran as fast as I could then it turned around and rapped its claws around my arm
engraving cuts into my armpit deep and sorrowful cuts suddenly everything went black I couldn’t open
my eyes and I drifted to sleep….
Hi Shelby its Samuel, Great job on your quick wright.your tittle hooked me in and then after the writing I got thinking about what would happen next.Something that you can work on is checking the sentences because I found that you wrote and instead of a.
ReplyDeleteThank you Samuel,
DeleteI have gone back and corrected my work maybe you could read it again and give me more feedback on it.
-Shelby
Hi Shelby,
Deleteyour writing is looking a lot better now. I can't wait to see more of your work.
Hi Shelbyyyy,
ReplyDeleteThis is a very detailed piece of writing, I especially liked the bit "KAWWW" It made me laugh a lot, but the start of the writing kind of didn't make sense. Anyway, I look forward to reading more of your work!!!!
Namaste, Lauren was here
Heyy lauren,
DeleteThank you for the comment I noticed what you meant about how it didn't make sence and I have gone back and corrected it maybe you could come back an check it again.
- Shelby Dreaver
Hi Shelby,
ReplyDeleteIt is Zach. I really like your story. I think the beast you describe may be a Griffin But it is hard to tell. Next time you could tell us what the Beast is. I look forward to reading more from you.
Thank you zach,
DeleteBut the thing is its a cliffhange type of story so no one was actually mant to know who the "BEAST" was but thank you very much for your comment.
- Shelby